Unlike most married couples who receive a toaster, silverware or set of drinking glasses on their wedding day, my wife and I received, of all things, a bread box.
A bread box is usually a metallic, plastic or wooden container measuring about 1-foot in length and 1-foot wide. Our bread box is quite attractive, really. With its brown, gold, green and silver décor and old-fashioned lettering, our bread box smacks of a turn-of-the-last century antique. Only thing, is we never used it to store bread.
Now, I am not complaining, because a bread box is quite useful. It’s just that I never heard of anyone receiving such a gift on their wedding day. After all these years, I am still puzzled as to why we never got a toaster, which often is associated with this special occasion. But, that’s for another column.
For years I used the bread box to house everything except for what it was designed. I have used it to store tools, magazines and socks. Audio tape cassettes and 8-track cartridge tapes also took up residence there. And, when our kitchen utensils drawer was filled to overflowing with silverware, I turned to — yup, the ever dandy, handy bread box.
And, would you believe I once used the bread box to store office supplies? Erasers, paper clips, pencils, pens, staples, stationery and thumb tacks also once resided there. Yes, I have used it to store a myriad of items — except bread, of course, which we put in our refrigerator to keep it cold and fresh. We practice this method today which proves the best plans can go a-rye.
(Bad pun ... forget that).
While out shopping one day years ago, my wife bought several bags of groceries that included six loaves of bread. After packing our refrigerator, freezer and pantry to overflowing with this foodstuff, we found there was no more room for three of the loaves. That’s when I realized we could now make use of our now vacant bread box … or, so I thought.
As it turned out, we needed something in which to store our growing collection of prescription drugs. Our two-shelf medicine cabinet was already filled to overflowing with bandages, toothpaste and assorted ointments, so what could we use except the kitchen table? Well, you know the answer.
Now, I know it sounds ridiculous, but it seemed as if the bread box was determined to keep me from getting the upper crust. (Another bad pun).
Today, the vacant bread box sits atop our kitchen cabinet, its faded colors, tarnished lid and rusty hinges greeting all who enter the space. It’s as if the container is saying, “Sorry, Bill, it’s the yeast I can do.” (Better). I don’t like to bake — er, make a fool of myself by complaining, but who can blame me? I am on a roll!
Well, readers, the clock says it’s past my bread — er, bed time, so I am going to wrap this up. I admit, my bread puns were pretty crumby, but wait until I tell you about my buns.
William J. Dagendesh is an author, writer and retired U.S. Navy chief journalist and editor. He has lived in southern Colorado 21 years. Contact him with comments or ideas for his column at nutmeg120395@yahoo.com.
"bread" - Google News
August 10, 2021 at 01:00PM
https://ift.tt/3AtWx2l
The ever dandy, handy bread box | Life Happens - Colorado Springs Gazette
"bread" - Google News
https://ift.tt/2pGzbrj
https://ift.tt/2Wle22m
Bagikan Berita Ini
0 Response to "The ever dandy, handy bread box | Life Happens - Colorado Springs Gazette"
Post a Comment